


Invasion Of Romance (Invader Zim/Reader Headcanons)

by ziimothy



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien/Human Relationships, Aliens, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Romance, Clingy Cuddles, Comfort, Couch Cuddles, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Humor, In Character, Interspecies Romance, Jealousy, Kissing, Love Confessions, Lovey-Dovey, No Smut, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Other, Polyamory, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sleepy Cuddles, Smooching, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tsunderes, they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziimothy/pseuds/ziimothy
Summary: Headcanon requests from tumblr! Each chapter will be in the order of oldest to newest. I am not very good at writing, and a lot of these headcanons I spent less than a day working on. If you have any requests, I am open to them! But, I'd prefer they be on tumblr. Considering my ask box, college, and my lack of motivation, please do not get your hopes up. I'll most likely do it if it is comforting for me, and if I have the time!Reader is always gender neutral!My target demographic is the end of highschool or college.That's the age range most everyone will be at unless canonly older.Please do enjoy!
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Purple/Reader, Almighty Tallest Red/Reader, Dib (Invader Zim)/Reader, Gaz (Invader Zim)/Reader, Palindrome/Reader, Pilot Dib (Invader Zim)/Reader, Professor Membrane/Reader, The Almighty Tallest/Reader, Zib | Zim Number 1/Reader, Zim (Invader Zim)/Reader, Zim 100/Reader, Zim 500/Reader, Zim Number 2/Reader, Zimvoid (Invader Zim)/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	1. Keeping It Casual | Zim x Reader

**Author's Note:**

> All of these are headcanons! They are not full-on stories!   
> Chapters go from oldest works to newest works.  
> All are requests from tumblr!  
> Reader is gender neutral! They/Them pronouns used.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> What are Zim's favorite kind of casual clothes?  
> Find out now!

-When he’s not baring his famous magenta tunic, black gloves and boots; Zim loves to wear casual, comfy clothing.

-One of his all-time favorites has to be a nice jacket; usually, something resembling a jersey; with slick pants and sneakers. Considering that’s what the “jocks and other cool kids” wear at Skool; it just feeds his ego. By wearing these “cool” pieces of cloth; he would be seen as a king! Praise him! Praise Zim! But of course, no one really pays any mind to him unless it’s you or Dib. You most likely in an affectionate way; with Dib just a normal “you’re an alien no matter what disguise you put on” way.

-You’ll also catch him wearing really soft sweaters, usually ones made out of fleece around the base. When he’s not working or plotting (which is the case 80% of the time); he’ll be relaxing; or spending time with you; and 9/10 when that happens, he’s in a sweater. His favorite being a white one with pink hems, and text on the chest area saying “Praise Me” on it. The reason being every time he wears it; you’ll give him lots of physical affection. “Yes! Yes! Bury me in love human! I am your ruler!” is normally what he’ll say. For you; that basically translates to an “I love you.”

-Speaking of sweaters; he’s a sucker for matching clothes. It doesn’t specifically have to be a sweater; it can be a set of hoodies, pajamas, t-shirts; as long as they’re comfy; and as long as he can wear them with you; he’ll melt over it. It’s kind of like “claiming his property in a way. One of his personal favorites is a set of hoodies he got for the both of you at the mall. His saying “I’m Their King” with a little white crown replacing the dot on the “i”. Yours saying “I’m His Highness”; with a bigger white crown hovering over the middle of the text. Basically his way of saying once he takes over the planet; he wants you to rule by his side.

-You might also catch him wearing a tank top and shorts on a hot day. If it’s hot enough; he might even wear them to skool; which you don’t really mind. He’s still pretty huggable; and considering he still demands attention even when that’s all he’s wearing; that’s a good thing. Since it’s always hot as heck whenever he wears them; it’s nice not having too much extra cloth on him. That way neither of you would sweat up a storm while you pepper him in affection.

-This doesn’t specifically count as casual, but sometimes he’ll wear a really raggedy bear suit. Kind of like a really old; midget stuffed animal. Considering all the stuffing seeping out of the seams; the outfit isn’t exactly the cutest. To most people; it just looks like junk. Not to you. Whenever he wears it, he’ll normally have you “hold him like a stuffie”, which is what he calls stuffed animals. Obviously; this boy demands attention a LOT. But do you mind giving it? No probably not.


	2. Pastel Angel | Zim, Dib, Gaz x Chubby!Pure!Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Reader likes pastels and cute things.  
> If that is not your cup of tea, that's ok!  
> This one just isn't for you.

Zim:  
-Will tolerate clothing shopping; even tolerate going into toy stores just for you. He is obviously NOT a people person; so being out in public areas, especially in secluded buildings is very awkward for him. But as long as you’re by his side he’s more than ok. Don’t be surprised if he’s clutching onto your hand or arm as you push the cart. 

-Goes full gremlin if anyone comments on your weight; or your love for cutesy things. He will not let that stuff slide; you are perfect to him. Chubby or not. There was just more of you to hold; that’s how he always thought of it. Seeing you get upset by people’s ignorant comments always makes his body boil up with anger. You usually need to hold him back as he claws at the person who made the remark like a cat. “LET ME AT THEM!! LET ZIM RIP THEIR STINKY FACE OFF!!” Once he calms down though, he’ll bury you compliments and smother you in affection.

-You are his teddy bear. Period. Ironic, considering how small he is; as well as the fact that he has a bear costume that he’ll often wear just for you. I guess you can be each other’s teddy bears. He definitely doesn’t mind that idea. It just makes you more compatible. 

-Will let you make pillow forts in his base so that you, him, and your stuffed animals can have a slumber party. Gir might end up squeezing in and resting in your lap as you and Zim chat about your day, his plans, or even just about cute things; since you enjoy stuff like that so much. He might even buy (or steal) some pastel-colored pillows and blankets to complete the aesthetic for the fort.

-Will do anything to make you smile; since not even the ALMIGHTY ZIM could resist your charms; he knew you were a keeper; and because of that; he will do whatever he can to make sure you’re happy. May it be simple gestures like getting you lunch, or something big like getting you a 10-foot pastel stuffed rabbit as well as your own moose. Yes, legitimate moose. Let’s just say he doesn’t quite understand the difference between Mini moose, and a normal moose; or the difference between stuffed animals and normal animals for that matter. Little gremlin almost stole a grizzly bear from the zoo for you.

-If you’re feeling self-conscious about your body, he’ll hug your waist and rest his head on your chest; listening to your heartbeat. Most of the time it turns into a legitimate cuddle. All the while; he’ll be raving about how absolutely fantastic and attractive you are to him. “Human, if the ALMIGHTY AND AMAZING ZIM finds you this attractive; then you must be the most prepossessing being in all of space! Besides me of course. We are of equal fetchingness.”

Dib:  
-Oh thank the stars for you. You are his saving grace; his key to happiness. You are someone who for one listens to him, but also understands him, and legitimately cares for him. He legitimately cares for you as well; seeing you as his angel. Having been ignored, teased, and even been called crazy countless times by his peers; and even by his own father; he really struck gold with you. He’d do absolutely anything for you.

-He’s been through a lot; even though people never listened to him; he’s actually a very good listener, and shoulder to cry on. You can tell him all your grievances, and he’ll always be there for you, no matter what. He’ll do whatever he can to cheer you up. If you’re feeling insecure about your weight; he’ll hug your close and tell you that it’s ok; and that pounds don’t make a person. It doesn’t matter what you weigh. It doesn’t make you any less stunning. If something happened between you and your family or friends; he might end up talking to them; depending on the situation. If you don’t want him to, he’ll just rub your back and listen. No matter what it is; he’ll find a way to be there for you properly.

-Absolutely loves to cuddle up with you. If you want; he’ll even bring in a few stuffed animals to join the cuddle session; especially if you have been feeling lonely. He’ll get you the cutest and softest ones he can find. Just to make it extra special; he might get some matching pastel clothing or pajamas for both of you to wear. Considering pastels always look adorable on you, he’ll try to do that whenever he can; just to make the moment feel even more romantic.

-Gets easily dopey when he’s around you; your pure personality and attitude just makes him melt. How could someone be so amazing? He’s unsure, but he knows for a fact he loves you more than anything. Sure, even with the conflicting feelings he has towards his dad; he still loves him. But if he’s being honest, he loves you even more. You’re just so sweet and loving. So enamoring and perfect, and you're his. Don’t be surprised his he’s constantly speechless, flustered, or out of sorts whenever he’s with you. Your pure nature can really boil him over at times.

-You better believe you are going to get loads and loads of smooches from him. May they be eskimo, cheek, forehead, temple, shoulder, or lips; you’re getting them. No doubt about that. How could he not spoil you with kisses? You are his angel after all, and he wants to show you first hand exactly how you make him feel. Slipping in compliments about your appearance, your body, and even your pastel attire after every single kiss. In an innocent way. He adores you and your body. There is no way he wouldn’t pepper you in kisses.

-While he is a bit timid about it; he loves PDA, especially giving it. Receiving it feels incredible, but he likes to let people know that you are in fact his. Not in a horribly possessive way; but in a pure “this is my darling; they are mine” kind of way. Plenty of people were surprised; considering Dib was never exactly popular. But even those who teased him, or even bullied him didn’t bother commenting about it. Even they could see that you and him are an example of true love, and mutual respect.

Gaz:  
-You are basically her polar opposite, but as they say; opposites attract. You and her are no exception. She’s short-tempered, cynical, anti-social, as well as legitimately creepy and threatening to most people. You however are pure, sweet, soft, pretty much everything she isn’t. Yet somehow, it really works. She may be the most hard-edged person on the planet, but it’s obvious she has a soft spot for you. You in return, adore her to no limits.

-While she normally hates cutesy things; she’ll negotiate with you. While she won’t do things like wear pastel or colorful clothing; or snuggle with stuffed animals, she will do other things to let you know she respects your interests; like buying you the animal crossing games so that you could both game together.

-Will actually look up from her game slave to look at you. Heck, if we’re being honest; you’re much more captivating to her. You’re a very special case; and considering her mutual respect for you; she’ll even open her eyes much more often when she’s with you. She’ll even put his game slave down for a few hours to go out on dates with you.  
You have a system. You each take turns on where to go for each of your dates. You could take her to build a bear, and then the next date she’d take you to Hot Topic or Spencers. You take her to a bouncy park, she takes you to the arcade. As long as she’s by you, and away from other people, she’s ok with wherever you take her.

-If she gets you gifts, she’ll try and get you something that for 1. won’t make her vomit but 2. make you happy. So don’t expect loads of pastel stuff from her. Expect something more along the times of an emo teddy bear who plays MCR when you squeeze him. But at times; she may surprise you. If she gets some money out of Dib’s wallet, she’ll buy you more colorful things; like your favorite kind of pastel attire, and plushies. Since those are more along with your tastes; it doesn’t matter if they aren’t up her alley. As long as you like them, that’s what matters.

-Might hold your hand out in public, but that’s about it. She will go absolutely feral though if anyone gets near you; usually giving them “the eyes.” No one dares to comment about your appearance or your chub when she’s around. You are hers. Usually after an encounter; she’ll squeeze your hand tighter, and assure you that you look good. When you’re both alone, however; she will casually steal a kiss or two. Usually out of nowhere. She’s very nonchalant about it; but gosh darn it, she adores you.


	3. Cuddles With The Green Gremlin | Zim x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Cuddling with Zim headcanons.  
> Oh boy.

I think you know Zim. He had no idea how proper human affection worked. After the Tak situation, he was definitely hesitant to try it out. But he ended up figuring out Tak was an irken; so legitimate human affection probably wasn’t pain based. But he still had no idea what it was based on until you showed him.

-You started off slow, first holding his hand, caressing his cheeks, then graduating to the good stuff. Actual hugs, and body to body physical contact, aka cuddles. Good Irk it felt so weird to him at first. No one had ever done that kind of stuff with him besides Gir; and with Gir it was more annoying than anything; so it was a very awkward first experience for him. None the less, he actually enjoyed it. It was weird and foreign. But it was attention. Attention from you; which is a bonus in and of itself.

-While hugs and cuddles do feel nice; it takes him a while to actually hug back. For a while, he would just sit there blank-faced as you held him. It was obvious he didn’t hate it; it was more of a case where he wasn’t sure how to properly react to it. It made his squeedly spooch twist and turn every time; and it gave him a lot of mixed emotions. He didn’t want to seem weak, so he would just sit there as you nuzzled his body. May have been his ego as well. The “I deserve the attention, I deserve it all!” side of him was probably the biggest factor in it.

-Eventually, he started to reciprocate your contact, tending to wrap his arms around your hips, waist, or even your shoulders. The first time, it surprised you. He had never done that before. But oh stars did it warm your heart. “Zim is simply trapping you so that you won’t run off and give attention to someone else.” is always the excuse. Never speaks loud when you’re cuddling him. He’s much softer toned during those sensations. 

-He becomes touch starved pretty quickly. At that point, it was less about him getting attention and more about him spending time with you. Oh who am I kidding? It’s both. Pretty soon, he becomes a PDA frantic; demanding smooches and cuddles, sometimes even in the middle of class; especially when you’re grouped with him. Or when you’re grouped with Dib by Ms. Bitters. Never was a surprise if he hissed and stole you away. “You must only give attention to Zim! I am your human boyfriend pig! Shower me!!” He was basically a big brat about it. But he just wants his human to himself. 

-Once you teach him that there are boundaries; he backs off a bit. He behaves in school after that. But outside of school, prepare for cuddle central. If you’re at his base and he’s not working or plotting; it’s cuddle time. Having grown into both an ego stroke due to the large amount of attention, and a desire to be near you. He may not say it often, but he loves you. A lot. About as much as himself. Maybe even a bit more; and not only do these cuddles feel nice, but they basically cement the fact that you are his. You are Zim’s! You are his highness. He is your king. 

Once Zim finally opens up completely; you really get to see the soft side of him. Irkens can indeed purr, and that’s basically what happens with every cuddle. Once he has let his guard down around you completely; he goes full-on feline. Purring, nuzzling, even face licks on rare occasions. He’ll even hold your cheeks and steal a few kisses if he can. Once he completely submits to your charms; you see the lovebug he can really be. It’s always so fluffy; comforting even. There is nothing better than it. When his plotting or his work gets in the way, it’s always stressful; since sadly you don’t have a proper cuddle schedule with him. It just happens; but in a way, it makes it all the better when it does happen. It’s best when he falls asleep. Since when he’s asleep; you can hear him murmur and chirp. Within those moments, he can tell how grateful he is to have you with him. Stay by his side, and don't let him go. Even if he starts snoring.


	4. Fit For A King | Number 2 x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Some love for the cloaked boy.  
> Finally, a love of his own.

-He sometimes forgets that you aren’t his ruler; you’re his lover. Of course, he absolutely adores you; but due to his nature, he’s very loyal to you. He’ll often bow to you, stand by you as if he was your personal guard, get you clothes that resemble royal robes, and even refer you as “my majesty” or “my royal highness”. You have to remind him that you don’t own him, you don’t rule over him. You just love him unconditionally; as does he with you. Every single time, he’ll hug onto you, and apologize. It never makes you uncomfortable; you just feel bad. It probably stemmed from Number 1′s influence. But you got to be honest, it was cute.

-Since he tends to treat you like his majesty, you try and treat him like a king. To make things even better, you gave him a proper name to go by. Majestzee. As soon as you assigned him that name, all he could do was dope around, trying to find proper words. His cheeks had a magenta glow, his large pupils filling with reflections of hearts. Oh ya. He definitely loved that. After that; he finally understood. He is your king, and you rule beside him as his highness, or whatever you prefer to be called.

-He is your number one. Doesn’t matter what number it says on the collar; he’s number one. Due to what Number 1 had done to him; he was always worried and terrified about not being perfect. That no one would truly love him if everything about him wasn’t pitch-perfect. You showed him that none of that matters; that no one is perfect. But he is perfect to you, and you are perfect to him. He appreciates every single compliment you give him. Even the smallest things make him feel so much more confident in himself, and who he is. But as I stated before, you are perfect to him as well. So he will not be afraid to shower you in compliments, and even hope into your arms in the middle of a conversation to give you validation smooches. Since he is taller than most Zims, you normally topple over. But that does not stop him from absolutely peppering you.

-Lots of cuddling; he absolutely adores holding you, whether he be the big spoon or the little spoon. Being bigger than the average Zim, he is perfect for both. May it be on the couch, in your bed, on the bus, in the kitchen. Anywhere is perfect for him as long as you are comfortable. He’ll always ask first before starting one of your cuddle sessions. If you are not in the mood, he gives you your space. But he will also let you know that he is still here for you.

-He’ll often cook for you if he can; using his purple cloak as an apron. He’s very good with breakfast foods; his specialties have to be buttermilk pancakes with the sweetest yet most delicious syrup he can gather. He’s also pretty good with desserts; like homemade cookies, brownies, tarts, pastries, you name it. He even tried making you your own ice cream at one point. 

-Very good listener, he is very patient so you can vent to him whenever needed. May it be a normal case of the rainy day blues, or something more personal. He will be there for you. If you are feeling up to it, he’ll rub your back in a circular motion while holding the back of your head. He’ll only speak when he knows you have nothing else to say so that he won’t interrupt you. But he will always be there to make you feel validated and safe.


	5. Cuddles With The Gamer Girl | Gaz x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Cuddles with Gaz?  
> Will you even survive?

-Very casual with cuddles. She’ll normally sit in your lap; with a never-changing expression. If she’s not on her game slave, she has her arm around your shoulder. She’s not really one to nuzzle into a cuddle, so normally you’re the one who has to do it to make the cuddling experience more authentic.

-Gaming cuddles are everything; and she delivers on that end. Since it’s actually pretty rare for her to be without her game slave; you’ll normally play with her on your own device, keeping one arm around her body. If you do not have your own device with you, or if it is not charged, you’ll just watch her. In those cases, you’ll latch your arms around her waist and rest your chin on her head so you can get a good view of her screen while also staying cuddled up.

-She will not demand, or offer cuddles. If she wants to cuddle, she wants to cuddle. That’s it. You’re going to cuddle her. Of course, as cryptic as she is; she understands boundaries. If you are really not feeling it, she won’t bother. Especially if you need space, she understands that. So she’d never make you cuddle with her if you were uncomfortable, or not in the mood.

-If she’s angry or upset; which is very often; she’ll bury her face into your chest, and hug her arms around your waist or hips. Normally you’ll reciprocate the gesture, burying your face in her hair and reassuring her, or whispering to her so that she calms down. If she’s really angry, she might start to seeth into your shirt. But typically, your embrace keeps her under control. If it wasn’t for you she would have probably burnt Dib’s room down by now.

-If you’re really upset, and in need of comfort; she’ll actually grab a few blankets and pillows out of Dib’s closet and steal them for you. If she catches you crying, or in need of proper attention, she’ll climb up beside you and throw the blanket over you, and herself. Typically she’ll hold her arm around your waist and play her game with the other. She’s not good at comforting people verbally; so letting you relax while she plays her games is usually the best thing she can do. Since you love to watch her play, she normally sees it as a good distraction for you, with how stressful life can be. 

-Pizza and cuddles on the couch. There are mainly 3 things she seems to genuinely love. Pizza, video games, and you. So neither of you are strangers to pizza cuddles. Almost every single time you order one for her; she’s all over you. She’ll have her cheek resting on your chest as she lays on your torso and eats away at her pizza. You’ll have to be careful when eating so that you don’t get any cheese or grease in her hair. That would be an absolute nightmare for you, and probably everyone within a 5-mile radius.


	6. Ready to Rumble | Dib and Zim x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Both the boys want your heart  
> It's up to you to decide who gets it

-Considering Zim and Dib’s rivalry, and mutual hatred for one another; you sealed any cracks within the bar between them. They already detested each other; Dib wanting Zim exposed to the world, organs scattered out on a dissection table; while Zim wanted to take over his planet for his tallest. Didn’t matter to him if Dib ended up perishing in the endgame. As soon as Zim ended up falling for you, it all went downhill from there. Not only were they getting more aggressive towards each other, but now they were at full out war for your heart. 

-Zim would constantly try to “court” you, much to Dib’s dismay. He would bring you things like flowers (normally with the dirty roots still attached, considering he normally pulled them out of the ground), sweets, stuffed animals, and even real animals. “Human! I, the ALMIGHTY ZIM” have come to bestow you with tokens of romance. Now take these and praise me! PRAISE ZIM!” But most of the time when he went with the animal option, they would end up turning the tables and attack him; causing him to scream and flee from your sight. Usually right after these encounters; Dib would come up to you and try to give you gifts as well. They tended to be very random things. May it be a weirdly shaped paper clip, or some of his notes from his paranormal investigations. Just something random to try and get your attention off Zim, and onto him.

-Having nowhere to sit in lunch is a total nightmare; because if you don’t have anyone sitting at your sides; Dib and Zim will be sure to claim the seats. “GREETINGS HUMAN! THE ALMIGHTY ZIM HAS COME TO GRACE YOU WITH HIS PRESENCE. FEEL HONORED; FOR I HAVE CHOSEN TO SPEND LUNCH WITH YOU-” “Excuse me but I’m very certain that they’d rather have lunch with me.” It will normally lead to one of two things. Either you get up; and walk away, or you’d stay, and they’d both try to get your attention. Both scenarios usually end with a fist fight. If you leave, they’ll immediately start blaming each other; tossing around insults before eventually getting into a scuffle. If Dib still has food left, he’ll douse it on Zim just to get the upper hand. If he doesn’t, he’ll just hit him with his lunch tray. If you stay, they’ll normally try to ask you out on dates, compliment you, or bring up some fun or sweet memories you shared with each of them. Then once they realize you're probably getting overwhelmed by all their blabbering, they just go right to fighting; first verbally, then physically. You are usually able to break them up though. Thankfully your presence calms them down a majority of the time.

-Considering it is obvious that Zim is an alien; it’s no surprise how weird or unnatural his ways of trying to woo you are. It can be annoying but at least he wasn’t setting out to steal your organs like he did with almost all the kids and staff at school at one point. But considering Dib’s feelings for you, and his hatred for Zim; he always tries to keep an eye on you. He considered putting cameras in your house just as extra precaution, but even he understands that’s weird. Whenever Zim gets too close to you, Dib won’t be far behind. He has even rolled out of the bushes and jumped in between you two out of the random; never giving an explanation to why he was in the bushes in the first place. If Zim gets close to touching you, Dib will jut himself in and come up with an excuse to make you go with him. “Me and them have to work on a class project!” or “Me and them made plans to hang out today!” Anything to get you away from him basically. Sometimes, however, he might actually back off. If you seem to be legitimately happy, or in a public area while you’re with Zim; he’ll try his best to respect that. Doesn’t mean he likes it, but he can’t control your life; even if he just wants to protect you. Zim always gets extra frustrated when the Dib stink gets in the way of his courtship. Based on the fact that he had actually managed to fall for you with the big ego he had, and absolute disgust for most humans; he knew you were a keeper. So the fact that Dib almost always tried to whisk you away whenever he was alone with you made his insides boil. Whenever Dib would actually leave him and you alone; he’d do his best to make you see how he is the perfect partner. May it be letting you talk about your woes, entrusting you with certain plans, or even just giving you any kind of support you need. In his own little egotistic way. 

-There is no doubt; both boys were head over heels for you. Zim has completely accepted his feelings for you; and he wanted you badly. Considering how the Dib Stink liked you too; he knew he had to step up his game. He was dedicated to win this game of love; he was dedicated to winning you, and your heart. “HUMAN. I HAVE SOMETHING TO DISCUSS WITH YOU. IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT MATTER, SO PAY ATTENTION!” Zim had decided that instead of his previous courtship methods and invitations to go on dates; he’d just ask flat out. “ZIM IS ENTRANCED BY YOU, FILTHY MEAT PIG. YOU HAVE WON ZIM’S AFFECTIONS.. AND HIS “LOVE” AS YOU HUMANS CALL IT. ZIM WOULD LIKE YOU TO BE HIS FOR-LIFE-MATE. DO YOU ACCEPT??” Dib wasn’t going to let that slide. Not with how he felt about you. He had the guts to ask you out on a date before, but he never asked you flat out if you would be his. If Zim had the audacity to ask for you; then Dib might as well try his luck too. “No! Don’t accept his confession! You know he’s an alien, he might just eat your brains out through your mouth!! I’d be a much better boyfriend!” “EH?? DON’T LISTEN TO THE DIB STINKY!! HE HAS BRAIN WORMS!!” As soon as that exchange was given, their fists were flying again. Zim pulled at Dib’s cowlick as Dib pulled at his antenna after knocking his wig off. You had to be the separating force, pulling the two lovestruck savages apart. Once they managed to calm down, they both stood at your sides and looked at you with pleading eyes. “Please pick me! We’ve known each other forever. I know so much more about you! Don’t pick the alien! He’ll just steal your organs like he did to the whole school a few months ago!” “OH PLEASE. THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO CHOOSE ME! MY COURTSHIP HAS MORE SINCERE THAN YOURS!” Despite how confident they sounded, both were anxious. But, they were dying for an answer from you. “WELL, WHO DO YOU CHOOSE?”

\---

Choosing Zim:  
-Zim will be absolutely overjoyed; while Dib will be absolutely heartbroken. “YES YES YES! VICTORY FOR THE ALMIGHTY ZIM! MOVE OVER DIB STINK!” As soon as you choose him, he’ll pick you up; and carry you away; shouting things like “THIS IS MY LIFE-MATE! YOU CAN’T HAVE THEM!” and “ZIM FINALLY HAS HIS LOVE PIG! BOW BEFORE US FILTHY EARTHWORMS!” much to Dib’s dismay. While it was just Zim’s excitement and ego; Dib will instantly see it as taunting; rubbing the fact that you chose him in his face.

-At first, Dib will think that Zim had either brainwashed you or somehow forced you to choose him. He will be paranoid, worried for your own safety and well being. He may even set up cameras in Zim’s house just so he could keep an eye on you; while also trying to collect footage of Zim without his disguise. He will stick around you, just from a distance. He may be protective, but his heart will still be broken. It will hurt him too much to just go up and talk to you. Zim however won’t give two cares about the Dib Stink’s moping. In fact, he will revel in it. Not only were you his mate now, but the Dib had basically broken down. Yes! Victory for the almighty Zim! He however will never take notice of how Dib would always follow behind you two.

-Zim would not leave your side unless you desire him to. He always has to either be sitting beside you, standing beside you, holding your hand, or holding you; usually the ladder. Even in class he’ll try to cuddle onto you. Usually right in front of Dib. If Dib was to look over to the both of you, Zim would huddle you into his side with the biggest grin on his face. Nine times out of ten it would make Dib tear up, or even get angry. Zim would laugh each time, but stop as soon as you shushed him; or as soon as Ms. Bitters started yelling at him.

-Considering the irken diet of carbs and sugar, Zim will normally take you out to cafes and bakeries for your dates. Once in a blue moon he might settle on something like a movie, or a trip to an amusement park. Not really grasping the concept of romance, he might be a bit more immature or even gross on dates. Not specifically gross gross, but he will act extremely childish when he’s eating; and you two are having a conversation. When that’s the case, he’ll probably yell-scream as always while he eats; not even bothering to close his mouth. Considering you’re human, and you have a better grasp on romantic customs; you’ll probably end up showing him romantic things you can do with food. For example, sharing a milkshake. Two straws, one drink for you both two enjoy. But don’t be surprised if Zim accidentally sucks on his straw too hard and has it go flying down into his throat.

-Big tsundere; I think that is very obvious. But if Dib gets so much as an inch too close to you; his pak legs are coming out. He is not too keen on allowing him to get close to you again. He will indeed cling to you like a gremlin; he will hiss and he will scratch. Of course not you, but definitely Dib; and almost anyone else for that matter. Once Dib realizes that you did legitimately choose this erratic little green bean; he will start to accept it. He doesn’t like it, and of course, he will still have strong feelings for you; but as long as he can continue to hang out with you, that’s all he’s concerned with. Whenever Zim is not around, or off on a mission, you and Dib will spend time together; in a buddy-buddy way. Thankfully, due to his trust and legitimate care for you, Dib would cool it with the “alien exposure” plans. Doesn’t stop him completely, but you are able to be with your alien boyfriend without any real complications.

Choosing Dib:  
-“WHAT?!” “YES!!” Dib would pump his fists in the air, jumping up and down; even throwing in a quick victory dance. “Yes yes yes! Take that space boy! I win! I win! I wiiin!” he’d chant, circling the alien while pointing and dancing. Zim would just stand there, his eyelid spasming and twitching as Dib taunts him, enduring it all. Dib would move himself into your arms once his dance concluded. “You have no idea how much this means! I knew you’d choose me over the alien scum!” his eyes would brim up with tears; his hands moving to your face. The moment would be tender, until Zim finally reacts. “YOU.” he’d raise a shaky gloved finger, pointing at you both. His fake violet pupils would shrink, burning holes into both of you. His glare was filled with hate, yet an immense overflow of heartbreak. The hate however wasn’t for you; yet it did seem like it was for the two of you in the moment. “BOTH OF YOU.” his voice quivered, his normal inflictions sounding even more fiery and scratchy. “YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU HUMILIATED ZIM! RUE IT!!” he’d screech, shooting his arm down as his fists clenched, his body trembling horribly. Before you can say anything; Dib will move his arms away from your torso, and grasp your hand. “Come on, let’s go celebrate!” He’d beam, briskly dragging you away and out of Zim’s sight. Let’s just say this before we dig in: Zim will not take rejection as kindly as Dib.

-For a while, you won’t see any sign of Zim. Not at skool, not in town, not in the neighborhood, not even at his base. It will appear as if he has disappeared off the face of the earth; or, in Dib’s eyes; given up and fled to his armada like a coward. While you would be worrying about it, Dib would be carousing over it; not with alcohol of course, but quality time with you. May it be going out to the woods to hunt for bigfoot, stargazing on the roof of his house, or even just staying inside to cuddle on the couch with a pack of complied pillows and blankets. It will all be heaven to him, and it was heaven for you as well. While you wouldn’t be able to shake off the lingering anxiety of Zim’s absence, Dib would bring a sense of comfort, a distraction from it. 

-A few weeks after Zim’s disappearance, you will start to find gifts left at your doorstep. Love notes, sweets like cheesecake, pudding, cookies, etc; and even animals like squirrels and rabbits with a rose tied around them, weirdly enough. Of course, it will be obvious it’s not Dib’s doing. The love notes wouldn’t seem to be in his handwriting, and the messages would be way too awkwardly worded. Plus he’ll always give you gifts and treats in person; he’d never leave them at your doorstep. Nonetheless, you will probably end up ignoring the love notes, but eat the sweets; since who would want all that to go to waste? You’d confront Dib about it, and it would genuinely concern him. Sure Zim had been gone for a while, but considering the fact that he still probably had feelings for you, it made his stomach churn. Irkens do have a diet of sugar and carbs. He’d know for a fact this “secret admirer” would be Zim; he would just have no idea why Zim would be absent when he’s still trying to court you. There is the possibility he could have been too embarrassed, but this is Zim we are talking about. Who knows. Even with all the gifts you’d be receiving from Zim, Dib would always get you something right after. Since you and him would be together, he’d want to show for a fact that you are indeed his, and that you’re always on his mind. If Zim sends you roses, he’ll give you a whole assorted bouquet with a poem about his favorite things about you. He’d always be sentimental and sappy. Expect loads of smooches and cuddles after every gift he gives you.

-All of a sudden, Zim will come back. When I say suddenly, I mean suddenly. After weeks of being gone, he’ll appear at your porch. You won’t even have the chance to speak when he grasps your hands and drags you outside. “HUMAN. I HAVE WAITED FOR A RESPONSE LONG ENOUGH. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THE DIB STINK, EH??” Clinging to your collar, he’d stare straight into your eyes. “ISN’T THE ALMIGHTY ZIM GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?? DID DIB DISCARD OF YOUR GIFTS?? WHAT DID HE DO??” You’d speak up once he decided to take a breather. “Zim, you were gone for weeks. I was worried sick. But how on earth was I supposed to give you a “response”? You weren’t at your base.” “YES I WAS! I WAS IN MY LAB! MAKING YOU SWEETS AND OTHER TRINKETS! WHY DID YOU NEVER RESPOND?? WHY??” he’d lightly shake you. “Zim I’m flattered really I am but, I chose Dib for a reason. I’m not going to lead you on.” Zim would snap. He’d release your collar and back away, glaring at you from a slight distance. “I see.” his voice would be lowered, and slightly sinister. “Just see what happens, attractive pig human! Zim will have you! One way or another!”   
Let’s just say after that whole confrontation, skool would be very awkward; and Dib would be extra protective and vigilant. Zim would come up with some elaborate schemes to either steal you or at least get your attention. But Dib would have none of it. He’d keep a close eye on you, as well as Zim. But regardless of all the drama, and Zim’s yandere-ish tendencies; Dib will end up on the high bar. You would be his after all; and in turn, he’d do whatever he could to make you happy. In the long and short of it, you two would eventually be left undisturbed.


	7. Rock On Baby | Gaz x Punk!Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Watch as I fail at Gaz  
> And punk representation

-While she is not the most.. affectionate of the bunch; she is most certainly appreciative of your fashion sense, and your interests. Considering she is a bit gothic; she completely understands your intrigue with punk fashion and culture. Heck, she loves it. While she is not a very social person, she will indeed dress up with you when you go out in public. Of course, she tends to bring her game slave so that she won’t go savage on every person within a 5-mile radius. But she will be a bit more social when she’s with you. Considering the aesthetic you too seem to share, people tend not to bother you. She is indeed very protective and will go full spooky mode if anyone dares to judge you or your interests.

-Will help you style your hair, and pick out certain accessories for your outfits. May it be different kinds of piercings, jewelry, cosmetics, you name it; she’ll be sure to help you out with your look. While she is a very threatening and cynical person, she is not judgmental of you. She wants to be certain that you are happy with your look, and that you are proud of yourself. Since she dresses up with you on occasion, you and her will try your best to match. Something to drill in the fact that you belong to each other. May it be matching jackets, pins, or jewelry. Doesn’t matter as long as you two match. 

-As long as she’s with you, and as long as she has her game slave to boot; she doesn’t really care what kind of trouble you get in. You may be a troublemaker, but it doesn’t bother her in the least bit. Doesn’t mean you’re not a good person right? May it be blasting music through a speaker while rolling it down on a wagon through the neighborhood, or graffiti art. As long as what you are doing is not horribly illegal, she doesn’t care. It is your life, and she wants you to be able to feel free. She’ll probably just play her game as you do your thing. Once in a blue moon, she might even join in. Really depends on her mood and the situation.

-Absolutely loves heavy metal and punk rock. You two might end up having a jamming session at least 2 to 3 times a week. Since she knows how to get down on the guitar, she really finds joy in playing it and rocking out with you. No matter what instrument you decide to play, it doesn’t matter, she knows you’ll be great. Even if you decide not to play one at all, she’ll play a solo just for you to enjoy.


	8. Put Some Emotion Into It | Gaz x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Confessing your feelings to Gaz.  
> May god have mercy.

-She would seem to be very unfazed and uninvested in your confession. She’d have that same blank expression on her face the entire time. That’s just how she is; she tends to seem very stone-cold and rarely shows any sense of emotion besides annoyance. But trust me when I say her insides would be fluttering. You? Like her? Who would have thought? Regardless of her outer stature and expression, she’s pretty much prancing in her head. “Ya ya whatever. I guess we’re dating now.” Is all she’d say before looking down at her game slave once more. 

-After that things wouldn’t really be much different, yet her reaction would be a bit concerning. While she’d technically have accepted in her own.. Gaz like way; it would probably be left up in the air on whether or not you two were official. She would however start to hang around you more. She’d still act the same but she might slip her arm around your waist, or if you’re taller she might slip your arm over her shoulder and sit beside you. No gushy romance talk, not from her at least.

-After a while you’d probably confront her about your current status; whether or not you two were sincerely a thing since she never used romantic labels and she pretty much just acted the same as before; just with some closer contact. She’d honestly seem pretty annoyed by your question; so annoyed in fact that she might look up from her game slave to open her eyes and glare straight at you. “Did you forget that I said “I guess we’re dating now”? You’re mine now but I’m not going to be all prissy and gushy over every little thing you do.” She’d then go right back to her game slave. 

-She may say that she’s not going to get all romantic with you, but there will be countless times where she will cuddle into you while she plays her games or eats her pizza. If you’re lucky; there will be times where she’ll watch you play her game or share her pizza. But those are a very rare occurrence, so be sure to enjoy them.

-Overall, she’d react just fine. She wouldn’t have the most emotional reaction, but she’d most certainly be interested. She really does care for you, and the fact that you like her back does indeed make her happy; regardless of whether or not, she shows it. She will be herself around you. That same cynical, threatening, yet good-willed gamer girl who loves junk food. Since she cares for you, she’s not going to act any different around you, and she expects you wouldn’t either. She wants you to be yourself; because that’s exactly what she loves about you.


	9. Scared Of Beans, Space Boy? | Pilot!Dib x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is gender neutral!  
> Some feral boy.  
> Prepare for rabies and cuddles.

-He was absolutely touch-and-attention-starved before he met you, so you’re his lifetime supply. He will constantly beg, crawl, and bug you until he gets at least a peck on the cheek. He won’t do anything to make you legitimately uncomfortable, but you can guarantee he will walk the wire a lot of the time. May it be sneaking up on you from behind and practically falling on you to trap you in his arms, or may it be just him pressing his cheek on your face or lips; he will make it so that you get the memo. But let’s be fair here; even with how feral and addicted he is to your loving; he will respect your boundaries. If you are feeling off he’ll put his attention on you rather than his own lust for cuddles and kisses. He does care about you, even with how foam at the mouth unstable he can be. 

-Speaking of foam at the mouth, this boy might legitimately have rabies. He’s a lot like a raccoon in terms of the fact that he will probably go through your garbage and steal your stuff. He’s well-meaning but he is still a bit of a creep; since he doesn’t understand proper social cues or even human behavior at times. When I say steal stuff, I don’t mean stuff like your phone, anything personal, or anything severe. I’m talking about things like pens, clothes, just small things. Anything he can find in your garbage or your room honestly; he’d love to have it. A lot of the time you’ll have to get the spray bottle out so that he leaves your trash cans alone. Don’t be surprised if he hisses and runs off like an actual animal when you do. 

-He loves you with all his heart but good god this boy has to be half animal. Don’t blame him for that though; he never really learned what was socially acceptable. You’ll have to be both his outlet and his teacher in that regard. He is very intelligent, he does have that on his side, but he is still indeed very threatening to most people. Figures, considering he is very possessive over you. In school, he’ll more than likely growl and glare at anyone who gets near you. If it’s Zim getting near you; it escalates a bit more. It’s honestly kind of sad that your human boyfriend is still more feral and otherworldly than the actual alien. You already figured that Zim was an alien, so Dib isn’t as worried about proving his identity to you. He is much more concerned about the ironically-allergic-to-beans green bean getting his grubby gloved hands on you. He’ll always nuzzle into your neck and claw at your form; not in a way that would hurt you of course. Poor Zim, if he so much as gets an inch too close, Dib will pull out the big guns: A plate of lunch lady approved baked beans. Those situations never go good for the poor irken.

-Dates are usually between the two of you rather someplace public and crowded. That includes loads of horror movies and hanging out with him in his lab. In terms of horror movies, those partake when you’re more exhausted or stressed out than usual. If you really aren’t feeling too great, Dib will pick a cheesier or more stupid just so that you can laugh at it instead. Regardless, there are always certain things that stay the same every time one of these dates take place. 1. Dib is going to be holding you super close to him; usually, while you’re wrapped up in a sushi roll like fashion. 2. Dib will whine and moan about the horrible practical effects or CGI; depending on the movie. Even if the effects are fantastic, he will always manage to find something wrong with it. Not authentic enough in his eyes I suppose. This boy probably knows exactly how murder works so it’s no surprise. Regardless, you can easily shut him up with a kiss. Just be aware, he won’t even let you see the screen after that. You’ll be way too busy dealing with him and his obsession over your smooches. In terms of the lab dates, those will usually be when you have more energy. He’ll do absolutely anything to impress you, so these lab dates are his go-to attempts at it. He loves inventing, and he loves making all sorts of gadgets. When he’s not making anything in relation to his battles with Zim, or his paranormal investigating equipment; he will indeed spend his time making stuff for you. May it be watches, cameras, headphones, consoles; your boyfriend is a nerd. If you want it, he’ll do it for you. Even if you don’t want it, he’ll do it for you! That’s just how he is. On these dates, he’ll normally let you play around with his equipment and even let you tinker with him. If you get hurt in the slightest, however, you’re banned from the lab for a good week. Not even he will go in it. He’ll just tend to you and stay glued to your side no matter what. That includes something as simple and insignificant as a papercut.

-3 am cuddles. No questions. No explanations. Just 3 am cuddles. It is a common occurrence for Dib to sneak through your bedroom window in the very early morning just because he can’t sleep. He never even thinks about it really, he just has such easy access to your place that it doesn’t even cross his mind how weird he’s being. Whenever this happens, he will crawl into bed with you and stare blankly down at your face, his hovering over yours. It’s that kind of unblinking, unnerving stare. Usually, just the sheer tension of it will wake you up. Yes. His unnerving creepiness is to that high of a degree. But as soon as you wake up, those rows of long thin teeth are showing. He’ll typically get out a purr and lightly grab your shoulders, pulling you into his form tightly before curling up into your bed. Even when he falls asleep; he has an iron grip on you. There is absolutely no getting out of it until he wakes up. You’re practically his teddy bear; thankfully for you, it’s not an awful experience. His touch and hold is actually very tender and loving; and can be very calming. As long as he doesn’t start snoring.


End file.
